Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Finding Peace

I haven't written in a while and thought it was time. I have had so many emotions recently and just thought I would get them down on "paper". It has been 9 1/2 weeks since our Jonah went to be with Jesus. I miss him SOOO bad. Everyone says it will get better with time. But apparently 9 1/2 weeks is not enough time. It is getting somewhat better, but it feels like it was just yesterday I was holding him in my arms. I would do anything to be able to hold him again. I look at his pictures and his little face was so perfect and I just wish the rest of his little body was perfect too. I know now it is, and I know he is in a much better place and Jesus is taking good care of him. It's still very very hard to see people with babies - it breaks my heart because I still want Jonah so very bad. It's still extremely hard to hear about people abusing kids and killing children, etc. I just wish I was the person who had to decide what their punishment is, but I have to remember that they will have to answer to the good Lord above for what they have done. I heard one story on TV last night that was about a woman who killed her infant and then dismembering his body. HORRIBLE!! TERRIBLE!! STUPID!!! I just wish I had 5 minutes with this person, if you can even call her a person. It broke my heart and brought back so many emotions. I would do ANYTHING to have Jonah back in my arms and here this stupid woman is killing and dismembering her child. She does not deserve the air she breathes. Okay I have said my peace about that. I feel much better.

Anyway. We have not been able to get Jonah's marker yet, but I hope we can before Christmas. The cemetery has gotten the columns up for the Military Ranks and it looks so nice. His spot will be beautiful before long. I have been thinking of ways I could use what I have gone thru in a positive way for others. I was thinking I may could go to hospitals after a woman has lost their baby and talk and comfort them. Not sure if this makes sense. But I think sometimes it helps to hear other peoples stories and how they got thru things. I'm not even sure if the hospitals do things like this or would let me do this, but I may check into it. Not sure yet.

I'm so thankful for the prayers that we received going thru this horrible experience and I'm very thankful for the prayers we are still getting. Thank you so much!! I know Jesus has another beautiful angel in his arms. Jonah is now perfect and just waiting on us to get there with him!

I wanted to post some pictures that we got from the day our baby went to heaven. He was so beautiful (words from a proud Mama).






Me, Jamie, Baby Jonah












Looking at the Angel that came and left so quickly















Proud Mama and Beautiful Jonah













Sweet Baby Jonah













Kisses from Mommy!!













Kisses from Daddy!!













Daddy and Mommy looking at their precious Angel!!







Jenn

5 comments:

  1. Jenn,
    I was so glad to hear from you yesterday and thrilled to see that you have posted a blog update. I've been praying for you and wondering how you have been doing. I think I have pretty good idea how you have been. I know it is hard. I still find it hard, although the sting is not as sharp as it was...it comes and goes.

    Love the pictures...Jonah is gorgeous! I can understand the need/want to reach out to others who have gone through similar situations. I think about that a lot too.

    Please know if there is anything I can do or you want to talk, I'm here. How are Jamie, Cameron and Hayden doing? Praying for peace for you all. (((HUGS)))

    Love, Sharleen

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  2. Thanks for the update and for the beautiful pictures of your angel. Praying for your family.

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  3. I have been watching your blog for an update. I have been praying for your family. You are a very strong lady. Jonah is so beautiful. Quite an angel indeed. I am glad you were able to post again.

    Nichole
    (Rusty Carruth's wife)

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  4. Glad to see a post. I like your idea about supporting others - there are not enough of us helping each other.
    I am remembering the sadness after Maddy - and even though it eventually eased, I was glad for it and tired of it at the same time. Tired of not feeling normal, and knowing I would never be the same, waiting for this new normal to get more familiar. Glad to know I was not forgetting her - that bring my biggest fear.
    It still is.

    Prayer ~

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  5. Thank you all so much for the comments, thoughts, and prayers!! It's because of people like you that I have been able to make it thru this.

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